AKA, “four tips from your local pelvic floor physio to help you through this beautiful, messy journey”.
Tip #1: Your first bowel movement
This feat must occur before the hospital releases you back to the wild. You cannot deny it, your midwife knows if you haven’t (lie detection is a requirement of their registration…or so I’ve been told?).
For a 1% easier process:
Take a seat, bundle some toilet paper, put your hand between your legs and apply upward pressure to your perineum (zone between vagina and anus). Go on, get bundling. Don’t think about it too hard. Sometimes a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do.
It is totally ok to take the laxatives offered if you feel nervous, tend towards constipation, are in pain, tired, have haemorrhoids or feel as though your insides are falling out. If you feel none of the above—congrats, you are probably a unicorn and should not feel compelled to read the rest of this article for mortals.
BYO deluxe toilet paper (go on, treat yourself, just this once). Trust me, hospital toilet paper is on average 3/10—would not recommend.
Correct positioning for your first motherhood poo includes:
Resting elbows on knees.
Use a “squatty potty” AKA a step to raise knees above hips. Worst case scenario, a full roll of toilet paper under each foot will do.
Relax your stomach, breath out, don’t hold your breath or push. Take your time.
Tip #2: Lie down on the job to breastfeed
Try propping yourself up with pillows behind you and take a break! Place babe horizontally OR vertically (vertical feeding is also called koala-feeding—cute name huh?).
We love this position because…
Laying horizontal = gravity on your side = happier perineum
Babe is laying on your chest instead of being held = happier mum wrists
Pillows supporting your upper back = less painful neck/back/shoulders. Breastfeeding back is a thing, ask your new mumma friends—they’ll tell you all about it.
Tip #3: Reducing the sting
In other toilet news…
BYO wee magic ie Ural. Ural = Less acidy wee = less sting.
Fill a drink bottle and pour water down your vulval area whilst weeing. Be kind to yourself, these extra steps are worth the effort.
Tip #4: Use “the knack”
A cute term we use to describe deliberately squeezing and lifting your pelvic floor muscles before, and holding throughout, a sneeze/cough/laugh.
Practice coordinating this now, master it before D-Day, and use from here-on in.
May the force be with you new mothers, we are your people and we are ‘here if need’ (yes I used to play netball 😉)
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